Back to the beginning of wife swapping.
In the fifties the newspapers referred to it as “wife-swapping.” Today it’s named “swinging,” but not considering of its name this swinging lifestyle seems to be increasing in popularity among ordinary, grown-up married couples in America. The popular media are paying increasing interest to the trend, frequently putting a encouraging spin on the effects which swinging has upon relationships. The North American Swing Club Association (NASCA) claims there are organized swing clubs in just about all states as well as Belgium, England, Germany, and Japan. These clubs are lucrative businesses which supply all levels of social activities for swingers including vacation plans, special vacation sites for swingers, and yearly gatherings and seminars. Lifestyles, Inc., a swingers travel bureau, booked 700 couples at a resort in Jamaica in February of 1999.
What exactly is swinging? Dissimilar “open marriages” of the 1970’s which promoted non-possessive love and tolerance of infidelity in their spouses, or “polyamory” - the love of many sex partners at once – swinging is non-monogamous sexual action, treated much like any other social activity, that can be practiced as a couple. Emotional monogamy, or commitment to the love relationship with one’s marital partner, remains the principal goal. Swinging is typically done in the company of one’s spouse and requires the consent of both to the experience. Although swingers often become close friends with other swinging couples, there are regulations restricting emotional involvement with non-spousal partners. While swinging involves having sex with people other than one’s spouse, its supporters claim that it enhances the relationship of the swinging couple both sexually and emotionally. By removing the secrecy and untruthfulness inherent in one’s natural wishes for sexual variety, the couple can discover their fantasies together without cheating or shame. By removing the need for dishonesty from the marriage, a fresh height of reliance and honesty about all of one’s feelings is supposedly achieved without the harsh baggage of distrust.
Swinging as an alternative lifestyle is of both practical and intellectual interest because the attempt to merge sexual non-monogamy with emotional monogamy is basically “deviant” from the western model of idealistic love which assumes that sexual and emotional monogamy are mutually reinforcing and inseparable. It has yet to be demonstrated empirically whether this alternative lifestyle really strengthens or weakens marital relationships, but in an era where 38% of husbands and 29% of wives, sometimes so-called hotwives declare to having had at least one extra-marital affair, where divorce rates for first marriages are approaching 59%, and where family shakiness and parental neglect of kids has become a main national worry, any attempt to redefine “love” and strengthen the marital bond is worthy of our interest. If swingers have found a way to stabilize relationships, prolong family ties, and enrich the lives of couples we would be remiss if we did not take their lifestyle and their redefinition of monogamous love seriously.
It is concluded that swingers surveyed are the white, middle-class, middle-aged, church-going segment of the residents reported in previous studies, but when it comes to attitudes about sex and marriage they are less racist, less sexist, and less heterosexist than the common population. Swinging appears to make the vast majority of swingers’ marriages happier, and swingers rate the contentment of their marriages and life satisfaction commonly as higher than the non-swinging population.